Whitney stared at the ceiling and could only think of Clark. He
knew he should not have come back to Smallville but he did want
to see his mom. It was the middle of the night and she was not here.
He would call a few relatives in the morning to locate her. He mind
drifted back to the loft and pushing Clark away. It was a dream
come true but it was the dream of a previous life. The doctors told
him he was lucky to have survived the helicopter crash and with
torn muscles and fractured bones at that. But the blood results
had come back and they tried not to frighten him but they compared
them to his blood work when he first enlisted and there was something
wrong. The problem was unknown and that scared Whitney. They could
not classify the anomaly. Two months of recovery and battery after
battery of testing and they could not figure out what was in his
bloodstream. Whitney had not shed a tear since his father's funeral
but he had come very close dealing with this problem.
He thought back to the event that changed his life, when he ceased
to be a good person, when he stopped being able to look in the mirror.
The afternoon he took Clark into that field and humiliated him.
Since that day, Whitney's life was never the same. Part of him tried
to ignore it but the Catholic in him succumbed to the guilt. Everything
bad happened after that incident and while standing there Whitney
knew he could have stopped it. He could not stop the shudder that
tore through his body. He sat up slowly as his back was still protesting
the abuse it had taken by the long walk and carrying a load beyond
his current stamina.
He walked into his bathroom and looked in the mirror. The last
time he had looked in this mirror he was off to find a new life
and now he was looking for a life at all. He started laughing and
part of him wondered if he had finally lost his mind but he laughed
until he cried. He sat on the edge of the tub, head in hands, and
wept for the first time in two years.
He did not remember getting in the shower but he was under the
hot spray, trying to clear his mind and loosen up his stressed back
muscles. He ran a hand over his head and through his hair, which
looked like it did when he left for the Marines in the first place.
He walked back into his room and sat down on his bed and tried to
think of nothing for all his thoughts ran to the morbid and that
served no purpose that he could see.
Clark drove up to the Fordman house and could not get over his
nerves. He had not slept after Whitney had left. For Clark it was
the chance to find a glimmer of happiness in a depressing place
in his life. He had told his mom that Whitney was home and his mother
was surprised. Betty had not mentioned it to Martha when they saw
each other and she was out of town for her sister's birthday. His
mom handed him a plate of food and a fresh made pie.
"Take these over to Whitney, his mom won't be back until next
week. While I'm sure he can take care of himself, he probably hasn't
had a decent meal in ages. If he wants, he is more than welcome
to join us for dinner anytime."
Clark shook off the memory and walked up to the door. He was nervous
because he needed Whitney in more ways than he could count. Clark
hadn't spoken a word to his father in almost three months outside
of directly answering a question. He didn't talk to anyone and he
really wanted to talk to Whitney, it was as if a valve had opened
and the words wanted to flow. He waited at the front door for it
to be answered.
Whitney heard the doorbell ringing and saw that he had fallen asleep.
He groaned as his back protested the awkward way he had slept. He
hobbled down to the door and saw Clark standing there.
"Hi, I brought you some stuff, my mom told me that your mom
is out of town."
Whitney tried to smile but his back was screaming at him. "Thanks,
Clark watched as Whitney turned and reached out for the wall to
steady himself. Clark looked at Whitney and then at his back and
noticed the crisscrossed tracks of healing muscles and noticed some
of them having spasms. Clark reached over and grabbed Whit to support
him. "Hey, you okay?"
Whitney tried to cover his pain but could not. He tried not to
take the relaxers or pain meds unless he really needed them. "Fine..."
"Liar." Clark placed the food on the counter and then
guided Whitney to the couch. "So I take it the pain you are
in is the result of your accident?"
"Yeah, chopper crash...two people died, me and one other guy
survived. He died two days later. I was told it was a miracle that
I survived and had as few injuries as I did."
"Wow, why didn't you tell me last night?"
"Clark, for a few months before I left, I told you everything,
well almost, I didn't want to come back and just use you like that
again. Besides, you needed to talk more than I did."
"No, you should have said something other than the vague things
you did say. Do you need me to get you some medicine or something?"
"Don't like taking them, they make me feel real fuzzy. That's
why I have gaps in my memory for the past two months."
"Here," Clark reaches over and begins to gently begins
to massage Whitney's lower back. Clark again uses his `vision' to
locate the knots and the muscle spasms to work them out. "Feel
Whitney is at a loss for words. The strong smooth fingers are under
his shirt and running over fading scars and they are working a miracle.
He can't stop the moan or the whimper as Clark's talented fingers
relieve a knot of tension. "Incredible...thanks."
Clark kept working his fingers around the muscles and let them
run to the middle back and drop to the top of Whitney's ass but
he feels Whitney flinch slightly so he again concentrates on the
areas that are still healing.
Whitney tried not to lean into the touch but it felt so good. He
quickly stopped himself and pulled away. "Thanks Clark, I really
"I don't mind, I would be more than happy to give you a massage
"Thanks...we need to talk."
"What would we settle? You don't want the same things I want."
Whitney slowly stood up and went to the kitchen. He saw the pie
and got two plates out. "Want a slice?"
Clark looked at him, "Sure."
Whitney walked back carrying two plates. He handed one to Clark.
"It is not that I don't want the same thing because I like
you Clark in ways that I never have with anyone else. I'm scared
okay? What if I'm a freak like many people from Smallville end up
being? There is so much unknown to me. I was carrying Lana's necklace
when we had the accident, I think that is the reason I survived."
Clark paled and looked away. After a few moments of silence Clark
responded, "Whitney, you are alive and I don't have any answers
other that. As for the two month issue, I'd rather be happy briefly
than miserable always."
Whitney dropped his head into his hands and sighed. He was at a
loss on how to proceed. Clark completely ignored his confession
of fear, it was two conversations happening at the same time but
missing each other completely. "Clark, I'm not discounting
you but...look can we agree to see how we progress. I want to talk
to my mom. All she knew was that I had been transferred to D.C.
I didn't want her to know I was injured, she has had too much to
deal as it is."
Clark got up and took the plates to the kitchen. He rinsed them
and turned and looked at Whitney. He just looked and pondered what
he had confessed.
"Clark, what would you do if Lex came back in your life?"
"Lex isn't going to come back for me. He left and made it
very clear that we no longer had a relationship. At this point even
our friendship is in doubt."
"But what if he came back and asked you to reconcile and try
to rebuild your relationship."
"Do you think it would be that easy? He left and I have had
to deal with the crap by myself. He broke it off after it was being
hinted at and because he didn't want his future plans disrupted.
Tell me does that sound like love? No, it sounds like I was being
used as a way to get off."
Whitney looked at Clark in amazement but he realized that Clark
had been through Hell as well. "I guess I wasn't thinking.
Clark...I need you as a friend right now and you need one also.
So, I'll take a massage a day and we see how the summer goes...okay?"
"No. I don't want to be lead around and given false hope.
I am your friend but...it sounds like a recipe for disaster."
"Clark...I want to spend time with you and find a way to relax
"Whit, I know MANY ways to teach you to relax."
"How many of them do not involve sex?"
"...Two or three, maybe?"
Whitney saw the cute grin on Clark's face and knew he was fighting
a losing battle. He had wanted him before he left and the bond they
shared by writing had not lessened his desire for Clark in any way.
Whitney leaned over and kissed Clark on the cheek. "We start
with those and the daily massage. I need some time to sort out what
I want to do and also to deal with my health."
"Whitney, so we are somewhere between friends and boyfriends,
"We are somewhere Clark, best I can guess is Smallville, Kansas,
home of the weird and unusual."
"That was not the answer I was looking for, thank you."
"Best I can give you right now. You are on the rebound and
I am on the mend. We need each other but not that way yet. Patience
is a virtue after all."
Clark sighed and kissed Whitney's cheek, "So we make this
up as we go along?"
"That is the only way I can think of right now, but at least
the future is more open ended now."
"Come on, Mom told be that you are welcome for dinner anytime.
You can help me by talking to my dad so I don't have to."
"I guess it is a start."
To Part Four, Following