ELROND50 & MERLIN7
Clark was so excited that his Mom had made chili for dinner. It
was rare when she would break from the usual faire to do something
special. He loved homemade chili, but he knew his Dad did not like
eating spicy foods very often. Clark had an ironclad stomach so
nothing affected him in a bad way. He walked into the kitchen and
saw his Mom chopping up the chili peppers to place in the crock-pot.
"Hi Clark. Dinner will be ready in an hour so go work on some
chores. Oh, I got these peppers from Mrs. Staley; she said she is
using a new organic compost with a natural mineral solution in it
as a fertilizer. She swears that the peppers have never been so
good. Go help your father and I'll call when it is ready."
Later after dinner Clark went up to his room to watch a movie.
It turned on the TV and heard the announcer say, "Welcome to
the Disney Fairy Tale marathon, hosted by the Magic Mirror, first
up, Alice in Wonderland."
Clark felt sick for the first time and did not understand. It had
been the best chili that he had ever eaten but he was sweating and
cold at the same time. He could not help but to pass out as the
fever claimed him and sent him into a slumber while the TV was still
"Where am I?" Clark looked around and saw that everything
was in Black and White. He saw a figure coming towards him and he
had could no tell what it was.
"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date, no time to
say `Hello, Good-bye' I'm late I'm late, I'm late."
Clark heard this being sung by a tall White Rabbit with a red waistcoat
on. Clark was stunned because that was the only color he could see.
"No time sir, I'm late."
"Who sir is Pete? I'm Her Majesty's Herald and I'm LATE."
"But where is HERE?"
"Here sir is where you are and if you were there then you
would no longer be here." The White Rabbit was muttering and
ran off, still singing his song.
Clark looked around and decided to follow the Rabbit away from
the depressing and dreary place where he was. He could not run as
fast as he was used to but he was able to keep the Rabbit in sight.
Suddenly the White Rabbit disappeared, Clark went to the place he
had last seen the Rabbit and suddenly the ground opened up and he
Clark shook his head as he cleared his mind after a fall of unknown
depths. The place was strange and wild. The plants and trees having
colors that he had never seen on them before. Suddenly he heard
a cackle and he turned. He saw a woman on a broom flying towards
"You think you are so smart do you? Give it to me."
"Lana? Give what to you?"
"I know no Lana. Give me the Necklace of Eternal Beauty."
"I don't have a necklace." He looked at `Lana' and saw
that she was getting uglier by the minute. `She needs the necklace.'
"Where was the last place you saw it?"
"Some stupid Rabbit in a red waistcoat came and took it. Now
I have to go deal with the Queen of Hearts. Mind you boy if I find
that you have my necklace then I'll turn you into a Billy goat!"
Clark watched as she took off on her broom and soared into the
sky. "Now what do I do?" Clark heard a laugh and looked
and found that he was suddenly at a crossroad.
"Well, that way leads There and this way leads Nowhere."
"Where are you?"
"I am here and there, everywhere and nowhere."
"That makes sense. Can I see you?"
In front of Clark at large orange cat materialized. "Garfield?"
"No, I'm the Cheshire Cat. Now, which way do you choose?"
"Can I have more information?" Suddenly Clark heard a
piercing scream and moved up the road. He saw a house and heard
the scream again. Clark ran towards the house.
"Sometimes the choices make you." He heard the Cat say
as he ran down the path to There.
Clark ran to the house and through the door open and saw a woman
in the large kitchen screaming. "Are you okay?"
"Who are you and WHAT are you doing here?"
Clark looked at the lady, "Mom?"
"I am not your MOTHER. I am to be addressed as Duchess or
Your Grace. Who are YOU?"
"What is a Clark?"
Clark looked at her. This whole place made no sense to him at all.
"Clark is me and why were you screaming?"
"All the pies have been burnt and Her Majesty does not like
Just then a figure burst through the door. "Is everything
okay Your Grace?"
"This Clark came in while I'm trying to make Her Majesty's
"Are you disturbing the Duchess?"
Clark looked at the figure. "Whitney?"
"Whitney? What is a Whitney? I am the Knight in Shining Armor.
Can't you tell? Plainly you are blank in the head. I'll have to
take you to the Hatter. They are all Mad over there. Come on, I've
a schedule to keep. I'm due to rescue some Maid from a Dragon before
"No time, I have to meet with Prince Charming before Night
Fall so we can have a roll in the hay. Come on, its not your birthday
"Pity, the Hatter and the Door Mouse with sing a dreadful
song for hours."
"But I was following the Rabbit and got lost and this Witch
said something about a necklace..."
"Well none of that is your concern. Are you a hero? Do you
have one of these?" The Knight pulled out a rolled parchment
that said Royal Certificate of the Academy of Heroes; Knight in
Shining Armor. "You can't go rescuing or chasing without one
of these. Come on, if I don't save the Maid then I won't have time
for a pint with the fellows before the Prince and I have some fun."
"Is that all Clarks say is 'but'?" The Knight guides
Clark out of the Duchess' house and they still hear her screaming
about ruined pies. "Tell you what, the Hatter will make you
Mad if you weren't before. Go down the road and talk to the Caterpillar,
he knows everything. He is a bit much, talks in circles, likes to
hear himself talk is what I think. He'll tell you where to find
your Rabbit. He might know about the necklace. Leave the Witch alone;
she is mean when she is ugly. She loses her necklace all the time.
Also avoid the Queen, she is very curious but EVERYTHING has to
be HER way. I'm off to rescue the Maid. If you want, ask the Caterpillar
about the pub. I'll buy you a pint. You may be daft but you're a
Clark blushed at the complement and his head was spinning at all
that the Knight had said. He heard more yelling and decided to leave
before more people came to check on the Duchess. He walked and saw
a giant mushroom, it was taller than him and his was fairly tall.
He noticed the enormous Caterpillar sitting on top of the mushroom.
"WHOOOO RRRRR UUUUUU?" asked the Caterpillar, while exhaling
smoke from an oversized bong. Clark had seen a bong at a party once
before but his parents had taught him to say No. He looked up and
noticed that the face looked like his Dad's but he already knew
better than to ask.
"I'm Clark, the Knight told me to come see you in order to
find the White Rabbit."
"WWWHHHHEEERRRREEEE do UUUUU want to BBBBBBBBBBB?"
Clark coughed as he was engulfed in a cloud of smoke. "I want
to go home but I followed the Rabbit and then this Witch..."
"STOP! UUUUUU bore MMMMEEEEEEEEE. The Witch and the QUUUEEENNNN
play the GAMMEEEE. Go and SEEEEEEE."
"It would have to be THHHEEEERRRRE since it can't be NOWHERE,
now CAN IT! Beware Maleficent, he collects BOYS such as UUUUUUUUU"
The Caterpillar exhaled a huge cloud of smoke that engulfed Clark,
causing him to cough.
"Now what?" but Clark noticed that the Caterpillar was
no longer there. He looked down the road and he was on the path
to There and began to march down the path. After what felt like
days he came to a clearing and saw the Knight.
"Did you rescue the Maid?"
"Oh yes and now I am off to meet the Prince. He is a fair
prince, bald and yummy."
"Yes, do all Clarks have problems speaking? I must be off.
If you need food, the tavern is around the bend." With that
the Knight took off but Clark decided to follow. He soon saw the
Knight enter a tower. He noticed that there was another horse outside,
grazing. Clark climbed the steps and soon saw Lex and Whitney kissing
even though it was a Prince and a Knight. Clark could not tear his
eyes away but me tried to move closer and the stairs fell away and
he was falling again.
"So you are spying on the fair Prince and his Guardian."
Clark saw a tall man dressed in long flowing black robes and horns
on his head. "No."
"Liar. You have trespassed and thus are subject to ME. You
will go and steal the Necklace of Eternal Beauty. Thus the Witch
will turn ever uglier and blame the Queen of Hearts. Ah, it will
do my Evil Heart good to see that war. I have followed you since
you arrived, Clark. Your reward will be the fair Prince. He is due
to fall into a dreamless sleep. The Knight would be the one to rescue
him but I will let you. All I require is the Necklace. It is either
that or stay here and suffer. Or should I send you to the Hatter,
he is quite mad and will drive anyone insane after a few days of
that endless 'Unbirthday' song. Your choice, the Prince or madness."
"I feel mad enough as it is," Clark replied, scrubbing
at his forehead with one hand. Yet he realized that he had no choice
but to ride the flow of events. This had to be some whacked out
dream and he was sure to wake up from it soon.
The man in flowing black robes leered. "Make your decision
Clark. The Prince or the Hatter?"
Clark sighed. "The Prince," he replied. Like there was
any other choice? "So...who has the Necklace?"
"The White Rabbit," said the man in the flowing black
robes, looked like Lex's father but Clark could not be sure.
"Any chance that you might point me in the right direction
to find him?" Clark queried, without much hope. But even as
he asked his surroundings melted away and Clark found himself lying
in a field of yellow and green plaid daisies. As fond as Clark was
of plaid, he winced. Yellow and green plaid was a fashion faux pas
that even he could not ignore. Rising to his feet, Clark dusted
off his jeans and looked around. No sign of the White Rabbit anywhere.
He was about to super speed off to look for the creature when he
heard a cry for help or rather, a scream.
A flash of darkness and a whoosh of air from overhead sent Clark
back down on the ground amid the plaid daisies. He looked up and
gasped. Hovering above him was a huge, pink flying creature. A few
blinks of disbelief later and Clark realized that he was staring
at a gigantic Dragon. A cotton candy pink colored Dragon. A Dragon
with someone clutched in one, taloned paw. Clark gasped again as
he recognized the Dragon's prize, the bald prince.
"Help me!" the Prince shouted.
"Uh...sure," Clark replied, scrambling to his feet. Wasn't
sure what he was supposed to do against a dragon the size of a 747,
but Clark was good at thinking on his feet. "Let the Prince
go!" Clark shouted at the beast and only then thought to wonder
if the creature would understand him.
The pink Dragon fluttered to the ground, landing with a ground
shaking THUD, and glared at Clark. "Make me!" it hissed
That answered that Clark mused. Then he shrugged and strode forward,
intent on freeing the Prince. "All right, I will," he
declared only to feel himself blasted with roaring flames. Clark's
knees buckled and he almost keeled over. Not from the force of the
blast or even the heat, both of which he was immune to, but from
the stench of the dragon's breath. Whatever the beast had eaten
last or, more to the point whoever, must have rotted between its
"You are... still alive," the Prince whispered, as the
smoke cleared and he saw the stranger still standing.
"Yep, still alive," Clark confirmed, striding closer.
Now he was pissed. He glared at the Dragon. "This is the last
time I'm going to ask nicely," Clark snapped. "Let the
"No." The Dragon snarled and made to swipe at Clark with
his tail only to yelp in pain as an iron fist connected with his
nose. The pain was intense and the Dragon dropped the Prince to
clutch his throbbing flesh in both paws. "You...you hit me!"
the Dragon blubbered and giant tears rolled down its scaly flesh.
Tears that turned to diamonds as they hit the ground, diamonds as
big as Clark's fist.
The Prince ignored the diamonds; he was rich beyond anyone's wildest
dreams anyway. His attention was fully focused on his rescuer. "Are
you a Knight?" The Prince queried the boy, a very big and yummy
Clark shook his head, trying hard not to stare at the diamonds
scattered at his feet. Absently noted that the Dragon was skulking
away, still weeping and whining, but his attention was focused on
the Prince's nearness. Up close he was mesmerizing. "No...not
a Knight," Clark whispered. "I'm just...um...Clark."
"Clark," the Prince repeated, happily. "A Clark
is quite beautiful. Exquisitely so, I do love beautiful things.
I shall bring you home with me."
"Oh," Clark said, then realized that as tempting as that
was, he had to refuse. "Um...actually I'm on a mission,"
Clark stated, then he squeaked as the Prince pinched his ass. "I...I
have to find the Necklace of Eternal Beauty and..."
"SILENCE!" Roared a voice that startled Clark and the
The Prince removed his hand from Clark's fine ass and made a face
as he turned to stare at the Royal Law Maker. He hated the little
"What do you want?" The Prince demanded, in full Princely
Clark stared between the Prince and the newcomer who was on horseback.
Looked like he was riding a lavender colored horse. Clark couldn't
hide a grin. His own Lex loved lavender so at least that made some
sort of sense. Then the grin faded as Clark realized that the newcomer
looked like Principal Kwan and couldn't shake the feeling that he
was in some kind of trouble.
"Maybe I'd better go," Clark suggested and began sidling
off only to find himself surrounded by a dozen men on lavender horses.
They looked like they were wearing white togas. Each had a bracelet
on their right wrist and in the middle of each bracelet was a glowing
green stone the size of a quarter. Clark felt a sudden rush of dizziness,
followed by nausea and fell to his knees.
"He broke the law," said the Royal Law Maker, as if Clark
had never spoken. Glaring at the Prince the Royal Law maker continued.
"He rescued you without a Royal Certificate from the Academy
The Prince heaved sigh. "He saved my life you buffoon! The
Prince looked over at the Clark and saw that the beautiful boy looked
ill. "Take him to the castle at once!" The Prince would
take care of his new possession.
The Royal Law Maker wasn't happy but he nodded at the Prince and
gestured to one of his men to pick up the stranger. "To the
castle with him" commanded the Royal Law Maker.
"Wait!" Clark protested weakly as a giant of a man approached
him. He felt himself swept up into beefy arms and it was a strange
sensation. Clark wasn't used to being carried about as if he weighed
no more than a feather. That was his last thought as the green stone
touched him and darkness claimed him.
Clark looked around and saw the Knight standing near him.
"You Clarks don't listen very well do you? The Dragon has
filed a protest with his union and the Prince is in trouble with
the Law Maker."
"Where am I?"
"Well you are now Here which is known as There everywhere
else. I told you that you needed a Royal Certificate before you
could go off rescuing anyone."
"You are fond of that word. The Prince told me that you are
here and I told him that I've already had the honor of meeting you.
You however are in a great deal of trouble. The Union of Magical
Creatures is taking a protest to the High King. The Prince in turn
has filed with the Society for Royal and Noble Personages that the
Dragon was unnecessarily rough."
"I should have left you with the Hatter. On top of all that
the Witch is claiming that the Queen of Hearts is cheating."
"The mean guy with horns told me to steal the Necklace of
"Do Clarks not pay attention? The Caterpillar told you to
"Well, I...um...well...I saw you...and um...followed and um...well...I
saw you and um, the Prince."
"AH, you were caught spying. You are now beholden to him.
What was the deal?"
"The Prince or the Hatter."
"You choose the Prince and the Quest?"
"To get the Necklace for him."
The Knight sat down next to Clark and placed an arm around his
shoulder. "You are in very deep trouble. The High King hates
Maleficent and you now work for him. You must steal the Necklace
and give it as a gift to the King."
"You really should be with the Hatter. The Door Mouse knows
more than you do. Maleficent cursed the land and people are stuck
with their jobs. The Necklace is now shared between former best
friends, the Witch and the Queen of Hearts. The Queen gets mean
and orders peoples' heads chopped off for any reason. Those of us
in Guilds and Unions are immune but many a flamingo has departed
because of her wrath. The Necklace makes the Queen nice and mellow
but makes the Witch ugly. When the Witch is pretty then the Queen
is mean. It is all very bad for us."
"So if I give the Necklace to the King then what?"
"I don't know, it has never been done before. That Rabbit
lives in fear of the Queen and the Witch has some evil munchkin
that serves her. His curse is to make sure the Mirror is telling
the truth. That mirror lies you know."
"Actually I don't."
"You are very pretty but very dense, if the Prince had not
begged then you would be with the Hatter."
There is a loud ringing and much screaming. The Knight sighed,
"The March Hare is running loose again. He and the Rabbit had
a falling out. The Hatter hides the Hare but the Hare likes to torment
the Rabbit, it is all so sad. "
The Knight stood as the Prince walked into the room. The Prince
kissed the Knight and then turned to Clark. "You sir, are a
trouble maker. The Dragon has a broken snout and can not breath
fire right now."
"Highness, that is his favorite word, just to warn you."
"Thank you, he is pretty but not all there. You Clark."
The Knight is tapping his shoulder, "What!"
"Sire, he is a servant of the Bastardly One."
The Prince throws his hands in the air, "Of course, what better
way to create chaos than to piss off the crybaby Dragon. You know
the Duchess is blaming him for the ruined pies."
"I told you that was his favorite word."
"Hush, you Clark, how is it you serve the Bastardly One?"
"He wants the Necklace."
"You mentioned the Necklace before..."
Trumpets blaring interrupted the Prince and into the room came
a fairy that looked like Tinker Bell.
"Your Highness, His Royal Majesty, the High King, commands
you to attend Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts this afternoon to
play a game of croquet. This is to be your punishment for interfering
with the Royal Law Maker!" With that Tinker Bell departed and
the trumpets stopped blaring.
Clark looked confused. "I'm confused."
"Yes, we know but don't worry your pretty little head. Highness
what shall we do?"
"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!" came a roaring shout that echoed
off the walls.
The Prince suddenly turned three shades of green. "Great,
the Witch now has the Necklace which means the Queen will be bitchy."
The Prince turned and kissed the Knight. "We go to play croquet.
Bring the Clark with you. He is already in trouble and we may learn
where the Necklace has gone off to."
"It has gone as it will up a river or down a hill." Suddenly
the voice had a face and the Knight and Prince groaned as the Cheshire
Cat came into view.
The Prince looked at Clark, "I take it you know this scoundrel."
Clark grabbed the Cat and looked at the Prince, "He helped
me when there was no one around."
"Kindly put me down. I'm not a housecat, I'm a Cheshire Cat!"
Clark dropped him.
"Fine bring the Cat but he is to remain silent while I am
playing croquet. I have a feeling that His Majesty has removed my
exemption from beheading today." The Prince turned to the Knight
and kissed him again. "Please rescue me if it becomes necessary.
And watch the Clark, he must stay out of trouble but with friends
The party walked out of the large room and suddenly Clark was overwhelmed
by the blue roses being painted red. "What is going on?"
"The Queen's gardeners never plant the right color roses.
We think the Witch has placed a spell that all the roses will bloom
any other color but red."
Suddenly the Knight stopped talking as the party came to the end
of the walkway that lead to the gardens for croquet. A trumpet note
rang out to silence the crowd.
"His Royal Highness, Prince Charming; The Knight in Shining
Armor; er..." the Herald turned to the Prince and the Knight
and in a low voice, "Who is he?"
The Prince turned and whispered, "He is a Clark and his furry
The Herald cleared his throat and continued, "and a Clark."
The Prince walked over to large gathering and Clark saw the Queen
of Hearts for the first time. "CHLOE?"
The Knight elbowed Clark in the ribs. "Hush! The Queen will
order your head cut off and the Prince likes your head attached
as do I." He then ran a hand through Clark's hair.
"AH, Prince Charming, His Majesty told me that you were playing
today." Said the Queen of Hearts as strolled towards the Prince.
Her blond hair was cropped short and going in many directions but
the crown on her head and the dress full of red hearts signaled
to all her title. "Hello Sir Knight come to take up the task
of bringing me back my Necklace?"
"My Lady, you know that is not a task to which I can be appointed.
I serve the Prince and rescue Maids, I do not steal items of questionable
"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!"
"My Lady you know that my status with the Heroes Guild precludes
me from your authority to have my head chopped off.."
"Well then, Shall we proceed with the game Prince Charming?"
The Prince groaned at Clark and the Knight before walking over
to see who went first.
"Is anyone else playing today, Majesty?"
"Yes, we wait for the Mad Hatter and the March Hare."
The Prince heard many of the surrounding nobles begin to swear
and mutter. The singing started and Clark suddenly knew why people
were sentenced to the Hatter.
"OH...A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY, FOR ME...FOR ME, FOR YOU, FOR
YOU...OH, A VERY MERRY..."
The Hatter and the March Hare approached the Queen, "GOOOOOD
afternoon Majesty, would you care for a cup of tea?"
"No, grab your flamingo so we can play."
Suddenly the Duchess came running up the Queen and threw herself
at the Queen's feet. "Oh, the horror! Majesty please spare
The Queen pulled back and hit the Hatter with her flamingo. "Get
her a cup of tea! Now my Lady, what is the trouble?"
"All the pies are ruined."
"That horrid munchkin that serves the Witch came and stole
the pies, all I have left are the ones HE ruined!" The Duchess
was pointing at Clark.
"But..." Again Clark received an elbow in the ribs.
The Queen exploded, "I want his head cut off NOW!!!"
Suddenly out of the sky came an ancient looking hag. "Give
me the Necklace. Look at me, I'm horrid." The Witch marched
towards the Queen. Many of the courtiers winced and turned at the
The Queen snarled at the Witch. "I have not the Necklace!
Where is the White Rabbit?!"
The White Rabbit came out of the crowd, nervous and shaking so
much that his teeth were chattering and his pocket watch was bouncing
up and down. "Yes, Majesty?"
"Where is the Necklace?"
"It is missing Majesty, the last time I know I had it I was
stopped by him." The White Rabbit was pointing at Clark.
The Mad Hatter and the March Hare started to swing each other around
claiming it was time for tea. The Prince walked up to Clark. "Do
you have the Necklace?"
"I don't even know what it looks like."
The Queen and the Witch started yelling at Clark as did the Duchess
and the White Rabbit. The Knight and the Prince were trying to stop
everyone when the croquet field became a courtroom.
"The Trial of the Clark will now begin, His Royal Majesty,
The High King, presiding." proclaimed Tinker Bell.
Clark looked over and was stunned, "Mickey Mouse?"
The High King looked at Clark, "Silence, you have not been
called upon to give testimony. The Royal Prosecutor may now proceed."
Clark noted that the Caterpillar was the Prosecution and he was
still smoking from his bong and he also had a burning joint.
"The Prosecution shall refrain from smoking in the courtroom,
it puts the jury to sleep. That also goes for the Dragons in the
"Majesty, Your Majesty's Government calls Prince Charming
to the witness stand."
The Prince stood up, "I object Majesty, I am the counsel for
"Get on the stand and WE still demand you play croquet with
the Queen. She is allowed to beat you with a flamingo as often as
"Enough, the Clark serves me and the Necklace is mine."
Clark groaned as the Bastardly One waltzed into the room.
"Maleficent you are not welcome here."
"Shut up Mouse! Clark, where is my Necklace? With the Necklace
I can become the most Magnificent thing in the Magic Kingdom. ALL
will flock to me and worship me and my evilness. Where is the Necklace?"
"I don't have it and I don't know."
"Majesty I move that the Clark's statement be stricken from
the record. The Bastardly One can not ask questions when it is my
"Isn't it past time for you to become a butterfly?"
"THAT ISSSSSSSSSSSSSS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEEEE of YOUR
Clark suddenly saw the Cheshire Cat appear in his lap. "The
Necklace has been everywhere and nowhere, all around and up and
Clark looked at the Cat and smiled, "Can I please have it?"
He looked down and the Cat was coughing up a hair ball. Meanwhile
the Mad Hatter and the March Hare started to sing to the White Rabbit
while the Witch and the Queen kept slapping at each other. The High
King was yelling for order and the Prince was trying to get at the
Bastardly One for kissing his Knight. The Dragon started crying
again when one of the Duchess' burnt pies hit him in the snout.
No one was paying any attention to the Caterpillar while he consumed
the remaining burnt pies. Clark grimaced as he reached and saw the
necklace with a glowing purple stone. "I HAVE IT!!!"
Everyone stopped and Maleficent roared, "GIVE IT TO ME BOY
AND ALL YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE."
"No, here you go Your Majesty, I'll place my trust in the
Prince and the Knight."
Clark handed the Necklace of Eternal Beauty to the High King. The
High King giggled and the stone glowed very bright and vanished.
"The spell is broken because of a selfless act. All hail the
Cheshire Cat as a hero."
"Maleficent, your powers of evil are broken and are sentenced
to endure tea daily with the Hatter and Hare. Also, you have to
clean up in here, look at the mess. My Lord Prince Charming, you
and the Knight in Shining Armor are named Crown Prince and Royal
Champion. You White Rabbit, it is now your job to rescue the Maids
of the Kingdom. You Clark may go do whatever it is that Clarks do.
My Lady Queen of Hearts, I'll assume you and the Witch can be friends
again. I'm tired and someone wake the Caterpillar, he snores much
Clark watched as everyone began to file out of the room. He noticed
that the Cheshire Cat was now a Foxy lady and was having fun with
the White Rabbit. The Queen and the Witch were laughing together
but most importantly he saw The Prince and the Knight kissing deeply.
Clark began to cry because the Prince was his to love.
"I could have granted him to you forever had you given me
the Necklace. Now the Prince will rule as Regent and the Knight
will be at his side, forever."
Clark woke with a start. He looked and realized the whole thing
had been a dream. He was covered in sweat and his heart was beating
rapidly. He remembered seeing Whitney kiss Lex and even though it
was not Whitney or Lex, Clark was jealous. He looked at his alarm
clock and saw that it was already in the early afternoon. `Oh no!'
Clark rushed around and threw some clothes on. He ran downstairs
and saw his parents look up at him.
"Are you okay honey? We could not get you to wake-up and you
were moaning and thrashing about."
"No Mom, I have to...I mean...I..."
"Clark, son, calm down."
"NO! You don't understand...I mean, they kissed and he already
has...and No...I...He can't have him!"
Martha and Jonathan were staring at each other as they listened
to Clark babble and as he acted frantic in the kitchen.
"I'm mean he has Lana and...and...Lex is mine!"
"Clark, what did you say?"
"No time Dad! I'll be back...he can't have everyone I want
it's not fair!" Clark ran out the door oblivious to his parents'
Clark got to the Talon and his mouth dropped open. He saw Whitney
and Lex sitting close to each other and they were laughing! `NO!'
Clark saw Lana, Chloe, and Pete sitting at the same table but Clark
could not stop as he walked into the talon and right up to Lex.
"You can't be with him! He...he won't love you like I can."
Clark hauled Lex to his feet and kissed him.
Clark noticed that Lex was kissing him back and he moaned. When
he pulled away he saw Whitney smiling like a loon and three shocked
"It is about time you did that. I was about to go after him
if you didn't catch a clue!" Whitney said with a laugh.
Lex ruffled Clark's hair, "What made you do that?"
Clark realized that he had kissed Lex in public and had come out
to his parents. "I had a dream that you and Whitney were together.
Pete had the Cat and Lana and Chloe were best friends but...you
and I belong together."
Lex smiled at Clark and kissed him again. "Glad you finally
see it. Even the quarterback here saw it and that is what we were
"I have a gay cousin, like I said, if you didn't make a move
soon I was going to."
"No, Lex is mine, you can have any one else."
"It's cool Clark. I don't think I'm ready to date a guy just
Clark smiled at him and turned to Lex and kissed him again and
they lived happily ever after.